The 'Me-Disease'

The epidemic no one is talking about...

There is a disease, not new to us, that has recently spiked in abundance. It causes women to lose weight, spend more money, experience frantic racing thoughts, and endure immense highs and lows. This disease - which has real physiological effects on the body and the psyche - is what I have dubbed the Me-Disease: a hybrid of insecurity and vanity, showing up in different people in varying proportions. It is characterized by excessive focus on the self, appearance, and self-representation online.

Now, upkeep and adornment of our physical bodies is not something necessarily new, but due to advancements in technology and the reach of social media, it has taken the lower entities that resides in the human spirit and catapulted it into a full fledged, normalized and accepted, disease.

Historically, beauty standards have been imposed on women by men — from the binding of feet in ancient China, to Victorian corsets that restricted breath and movement, to Hawaiian Ali’i women being force-fed to reflect status. Today, in a society that remains largely patriarchal, we continue to mold and sculpt ourselves — only now it’s under the polished guise of empowerment. The language has changed, but the underlying message is eerily familiar: you are not enough as you are. What makes it even more insidious is that we often don’t realize it. We participate in our own oppression, thinking it’s freedom, when in truth, we are still being shaped — just with different tools.

I know this is a deeply personal and often sensitive topic. My intention is never to attack or shame anyone who has chosen to have work done. In fact, I hold deep empathy for every woman navigating a world that constantly tells her she is not enough. It is not your fault for experiencing symptoms of what I call the Me-Disease — a condition born from relentless, intentional messaging designed to chip away at our self-worth from every direction.

Before plunging into the shimmering pool of today’s digital culture, it's worth revisiting the ancient myth that first warned us of its dangers. The myth of Narcissus, dated back to the first century BC in Ancient Greece, exposes all that we need to know about the human psyche when it comes to self-obsession. Narcissus, a handsome youth, became so enchanted by his own reflection in a still pool of water that he was unable to tear himself away. He ultimately wasted away and turned into a flower that still bears his name. This metaphor of the seductive nature of self-fixation is arguably more relevant today than it was when it first appeared.

Pair this very innate human quality with the promulgation of face tuning, Instagram likes and easily doable surgical procedures, we are encouraged to be like Narcissus in every aspect of our lives.

How has this happened?

The earliest mirrors were made from polished obsidian almost 8,000 years ago, and surprisingly had a very slow evolution. Reflections weren’t entirely possible to glimpse clearly until high-quality glass mirrors were developed in Venice in the 16th century. So only up until a few hundred years ago, humans did not have the full capability to see their reflection. Their image and likeness was reflected back by their family members, a rare moment gazing at clear waters, or through portraits (if one was wealthy enough to be painted). Now, we carry high definition mirrors in our pockets, constantly scrutinize and compare photos of ourselves, and cannot escape the feeling that others are judging every small detail.

It’s also worth remembering that people see us in motion: talking, laughing, crying, yelling — from every angle, in every light. Human expression shifts with every thought, emotion, and experience. A photo, on the other hand, captures just a fraction of a second. It’s a still frame that can never fully represent how we actually exist in the world. Our constant analysis of a picture where a pose has been struck or a smile forced, is not representative of how a person looks the other 99% of the time.

Alongside the advancement of mirrors, the tools at our disposal to change our reflection have also skyrocketed. We can now control how we look not only through clothing or hairstyling, but by modifying our bodies to extremes — through dieting or surgeries like BBL’s and breast augmentation. Teeth can be replaced, lips plumped, and men can even increase their height with shin-lengthening surgery.

All of this has both resulted in and contributed to an influx of influencer “how-to’s,” sharing their preferred methods and approaches. These tutorials and “lifestyles” are broadcasted to the masses, and the programming is clear: the more beautiful you appear, the more likes you receive — making the information more impressionable and widely spread.

Now this should not be confused with an appreciation for art or style. There is creative expression in jewelry, clothes and make-up — and then there is full-fledged reversal and rejection of self. Whereas the former is used to accentuate individuality and highlight specific aspects of art or beauty, what we often encounter and partake in today is the destruction of the self in order to appeal to the masses.

Consider a woman with naturally small lips. For centuries, she might have simply used lipstick to enhance their color—a subtle, aesthetic choice that was enough. The color can change on the day based on her mood, a reflective art if you will. But today, she feels pressured not just to enhance, but to resent her lips. To permanently alter them out of shame. There is no medical reason why this would need to be done, yet our culture promotes this quick and easy procedure. With its relative affordability, lip filling has become more accessible - and when majority rules, it’s often easier to join it than try to beat it.

If you've made aesthetic adjustments or find yourself preoccupied with your appearance, I do not condemn you. Quite the opposite — I see you. I understand the immense pressure to conform, to fix, to perfect. My aim is not to judge individual choices, but to spotlight the collective emotional toll of a culture that profits off of our insecurities.

Every time we open our phones and encounter another hyper-filtered image or a new "flaw" we didn’t know we had, low-frequency emotions like comparison, self-doubt, and shame are triggered. This signaling is subtle, persistent, and everywhere.

There is a fine line between inspiration and brainwashing that influencers may not even realize they are crossing. I am all for following creators who have a unique gift to share, whether it’s through their voice, style or ideas. There are so many interesting, deep and richly layered individuals out there who deserve to be seen. Unfortunately, though, the most popular and highest-paid mega-influencers often lack individuality. And in a way, it makes sense — smaller creators with a distinct niche aren’t always going to appeal to the masses because of their quirks.

Recently, a popular influencer came under fire for sharing her experience with blepharoplasty - an eyelid surgery which removes the skin to create a more open-eyed appearance. At this point, it shouldn’t come as a shock when another wealthy micro-celebrity undergoes a cosmetic procedure.

This particular creator rose to prominence through her connection with a well-known YouTuber, eventually co-hosting a podcast where she discusses her personal life. With over two million TikTok followers, much of her public persona is centered around her appearance and beauty journey.

She has openly talked about having multiple procedures — including arm Botox, a breast augmentation, lip fillers, under-eye fillers, and now blepharoplasty. What is simply sad and discouraging is that she was truly beautiful to begin with. Still, like many in the spotlight, she’s chosen to alter her appearance in pursuit of an ideal that is constantly shifting — one often dictated by social media trends and unattainable standards. Her content and encouragement of cosmetic surgeries is just one example of how we are directly being influenced to look in the mirror and reassess how we look, to ulimately see if there is anything we can do about it.

That’s why it is so important — now more than ever — to stay vigilant about the content and voices we allow into our lives. If you notice yourself nitpicking your features, questioning your worth, or chasing a moving target of perfection, I gently urge you to pause and reassess. You are more than a reflection. You are a whole, powerful being — worthy of love and respect exactly as you are.

Beyond the normalization of body modification via procedures, diet culture plays a significant role as well. This one can feel tricky, because maintaining a healthy diet and active lifestyle is certainly worth sharing and striving for. However, as with most things, it’s not so black and white. Diet rules and exercise routines can easily slip into the realm of orthorexia — leading to a lifelong obsession with “being healthy,” often marked by under-eating, overexercising, and, ultimately, a desire to look a certain way.

My friend recently sent me a video of a raw meat influencer boasting about the lip-plumping properties of steak and honey. Not to say that this isn’t true, but this is the only aspect of her diet that she hones in on to persuade others to eat like her. It is all about how beautiful, glowing and lean you will become. I don’t know if this says more about her as an individual — that her sole reason for eating this way is appearance — or if it is a reflection of the broader culture of diet obsession and mirror selfies that she is attempting to appeal to, knowing that’s what most people care about.

As I mentioned, this doesn’t mean we should ignore it entirely - having strong nails and a healthy head of hair can certainly mean that your body is functioning at a high and healthy level. I have just noticed that collectively, the way we look is our primary motivation for doing anything. So in every way, down to our diet, we are being told we must present a certain way.

Our obsession with self-representation online is gradually dulling our deeper faculties — our ability to explore, create, and connect with who we truly are. It seems that, especially for women, we’re being subtly encouraged to make our only hobbies the constant upkeep of our appearance.

That, I think, is my greatest concern with the direction this is heading — particularly for women. When we’re consumed with trying to look like one another, we begin to act like one another too. Our hobbies have been reduced to routines of self-care and maintenance. Time that could be spent walking, crafting, knitting, painting, playing music, or reading is too often swallowed by scrolling, comparing, or going to yet another beauty appointment.

But it’s not too late. We have the power to reclaim that time, that energy, and that sense of self. Women possess an extraordinary life force — one that is meant to create, to lead, to inspire, and to express. By turning our attention inward and nurturing our minds and spirits, not just our reflections, we can reconnect with the fullness of who we are. And that is a revolution worth starting.

xo,

Lili